I'm not usually one to blog my feelings and vent on here, but today I guess I need an outlet. I think most of my crazy emotional side is taking over because I am soooo sleep deprived right now. I know most of you know what has been going on with Tessa, but maybe if I write it out I'll feel a little better or more in control... or anything other than sad.
Honestly I think Noel and I have held up pretty well, considering! This all started about a week ago with Tessa having a runny nose and some cold symptoms. No biggie! On Monday or Tuesday she started having a pathetic little cough that would make her cringe and cry every time. So, now she had a sore throat as well. By Wednesday morning. I got up to take Tess to Jennifer's so I could work, but she had a slight fever, so I decided to stay home with Tessa. Later that morning I called the pediatrician to see if there was anything recommended to give Tessa for her uncomfortable-ness. They thought it sounded like she had an ear infection, so I brought her in. No ear infection, but she had a viral throat infection, so Motrin to control the high fever (it was 103 at the doctors) and that was about it. Poor kid!
Wednesday was o.k. and Tess did well and tried to be her normal self when the Motrin kicked in, the only problem was that it didn't last long enough for us to make it to the next 6 hour mark. Wah! By very late Wed night (Noel was at work at this point) She woke up and was breathing pretty fast and sounded like it was hard to get air in. After trying to calm her down I didn't hesitate to call the pediatrician again. He said it sounded like she might have croup and I should get her in the bathroom with a steamy shower and continue using the cool mist humidifier. No prob! Tess and I steamed up a couple of times and even sat on the front porch for a while. After a couple of hours I thought she was still not better. After a 2nd call to the pediatrician he said she should be seen, go to the E.R. at this point I broke down because this is the 3rd time we would be going to the E.R. this year for Tessa. Sorry, but a co-pay of $125 is a little hard to swallow sometimes! So, I set Tess on the bed, started to get ready to go, and the little cutie just rolled over on her belly and fell fast asleep. Breathing was better and everything. THANK YOU LORD!!!
East rest lasted for about 1 and 1/2 hours and then it was rough breathing, shower and outside several more times with a few bouts of restless sleep (for us both) in between.
That morning I knew I had to get her looked at. The doctors weren't at the office until 9a.m. but at 8a.m. I was already on my way to E.R. In triage the doctor happened to walk by, heard Tessa's breathing, and ordered her straight back for treatments. We sat in E.R. for quite a while with visits from Auntie Meg and Papa (I think!). They watched her up on the peds floor until about 7 that night and said she was well enough to go home, please come back if she gets worse. Duh!!!
Home that night so that Noel could watch the kid while I caught up a little bit on sleep. Plus I was getting a sore throat and chills and aching. Good times! Noel said she had a small rough spot where he took her outside, but she went down to bed with some Motrin on board aroun 10p.m. My dear, dear husband decided to check on the baby around 7a.m. on Friday and brought her into our room saying she didn't sound so hot. I'm telling you, this little girl was sucking air! (I now know where that term came from!!!). She sounded HORRIBLE!!! I have never strapped her into her car seat faster than that morning and Noel said he went about 50 (in a 30mph zone) all the way to the hospital. I shortly joined them and when I got to the room about 10 people were surrounding Tessa and Noel on the gurney. I started balling bacause although I'm a nurse and know they can do a lot for her, I was scared to death! Tessa didn't respond to the treatments quite like they wanted her to, so the pediatrician decided Children's hospital would be best just in case Tess needed to go to ICU or to be intubated. Nice!
At Children's Tessa was doing o.k. but not great. We talked to a LOT of doctors and told our story about a million times, but that was o.k. Anything to get our little girl better! At one point I was being interviewed (again!) by a resident when Noel picked Tess up and quickly stated that her lips were turning blue!!! He put her on the bed and I jumped up... the resident wasn't quite sure how to get the oxygen going, so Noel grabbed the mask, hooked it up and cranked to O2 up. We held the oxygen by her mouth and she turned back to pink quickly. Very scary! Mom and Dad were there, and I think I was o.k. until I saw them crying or trying to hold back tears (guess which one did what!!!) and then I lost it! Of course Tessa was then set to transfer to ICU.
A few hours later Tess and Noel and I settled into PICU and took turns being with Tessa along with Uncle Lowell and Aunt Maggie. Tess did very well that night. Noel and I even decided to go home to get a little rest and shower, and planned to be back around 3 or 3:30a.m. My throat was getting worse and worse, so I let Noel go and I slept until I could get to the doc. Noel texted me around 4a.m. and said Tessa was being moved to a regular floor... praise God! The doctor and nurse thought Tessa sounded like she could use a treatment, but she was still doing very well! As of the night before she had mostly been under the oxygen mist tent, but we were able to start holding her more on Saturday. Noel and Mom and Dad and I held her whenever she would wake up, and she really didn't need the oxygen all that often. Tess was still pretty tired and weak, though, so she didn't stay up for very long periods of time. Still, I was happy to have my kid making some progress!
Sooooo, Saturday evening we transferred to a private room in the hopes that Tessa would be improved to the point where we could go home on Sunday. Tessa slept pretty well, but started trying to cough more early Sunday (this) morning. I got her up and held her for a while, and she still coughed but couldn't seem to get anything up. She started to close her eyes, so I thought I'd put her back down under the tent so that she could rest. Man, did she NOT like that!!! She threw her blanket out of the oxygen tent and just about threw the tent over the edge of the crib! I grabbed her again, and noticed her oxygen was going down to 75% (above 90% is where she should be). Noel held her and some oxygen while I ran to get the nurse. I have to say, by the way, I love nurse Jenn. She has done a fabulous job of being available to us today and I will miss her a lot! So, anyway, Jenn and the doctors and resp therapist came rushing in and gave Tessa two more treatments and started to suction her. Right now she is finally sleeping with a high pressure nasal cannula in her nose (again, duh!). The doctor said she probably won't like it because the pressure is like having someone breath in your mouth for you. Weird! Poor Tessa is so wiped, though, that she is sleeping soundly and I guess the rest is to come!
Probably not going home today after this latest episode, but I just want here where she can get better! I sat watching her just before I started this blog. I just started crying because here my sweet baby is struggling for her breath while I am only able to sit back and watch. I know all parents feel like this, but I so want to take this from her and put it on myself. I only want Tessa to sit up in bed and start pointing and growling and repeating everything we say. Is that too much to ask?! :0)
I know she will be fine, and I feel a little better now. Thank you EVERYone for all of your prayers through all of this drama. We love you all and know that you will continue to pray for our little Tessa Grace until she is home and safe and sound!
P.S. I think this might be longer than any of Andee's blogs... GO ME!!!
Honestly I think Noel and I have held up pretty well, considering! This all started about a week ago with Tessa having a runny nose and some cold symptoms. No biggie! On Monday or Tuesday she started having a pathetic little cough that would make her cringe and cry every time. So, now she had a sore throat as well. By Wednesday morning. I got up to take Tess to Jennifer's so I could work, but she had a slight fever, so I decided to stay home with Tessa. Later that morning I called the pediatrician to see if there was anything recommended to give Tessa for her uncomfortable-ness. They thought it sounded like she had an ear infection, so I brought her in. No ear infection, but she had a viral throat infection, so Motrin to control the high fever (it was 103 at the doctors) and that was about it. Poor kid!
Wednesday was o.k. and Tess did well and tried to be her normal self when the Motrin kicked in, the only problem was that it didn't last long enough for us to make it to the next 6 hour mark. Wah! By very late Wed night (Noel was at work at this point) She woke up and was breathing pretty fast and sounded like it was hard to get air in. After trying to calm her down I didn't hesitate to call the pediatrician again. He said it sounded like she might have croup and I should get her in the bathroom with a steamy shower and continue using the cool mist humidifier. No prob! Tess and I steamed up a couple of times and even sat on the front porch for a while. After a couple of hours I thought she was still not better. After a 2nd call to the pediatrician he said she should be seen, go to the E.R. at this point I broke down because this is the 3rd time we would be going to the E.R. this year for Tessa. Sorry, but a co-pay of $125 is a little hard to swallow sometimes! So, I set Tess on the bed, started to get ready to go, and the little cutie just rolled over on her belly and fell fast asleep. Breathing was better and everything. THANK YOU LORD!!!
East rest lasted for about 1 and 1/2 hours and then it was rough breathing, shower and outside several more times with a few bouts of restless sleep (for us both) in between.
That morning I knew I had to get her looked at. The doctors weren't at the office until 9a.m. but at 8a.m. I was already on my way to E.R. In triage the doctor happened to walk by, heard Tessa's breathing, and ordered her straight back for treatments. We sat in E.R. for quite a while with visits from Auntie Meg and Papa (I think!). They watched her up on the peds floor until about 7 that night and said she was well enough to go home, please come back if she gets worse. Duh!!!
Home that night so that Noel could watch the kid while I caught up a little bit on sleep. Plus I was getting a sore throat and chills and aching. Good times! Noel said she had a small rough spot where he took her outside, but she went down to bed with some Motrin on board aroun 10p.m. My dear, dear husband decided to check on the baby around 7a.m. on Friday and brought her into our room saying she didn't sound so hot. I'm telling you, this little girl was sucking air! (I now know where that term came from!!!). She sounded HORRIBLE!!! I have never strapped her into her car seat faster than that morning and Noel said he went about 50 (in a 30mph zone) all the way to the hospital. I shortly joined them and when I got to the room about 10 people were surrounding Tessa and Noel on the gurney. I started balling bacause although I'm a nurse and know they can do a lot for her, I was scared to death! Tessa didn't respond to the treatments quite like they wanted her to, so the pediatrician decided Children's hospital would be best just in case Tess needed to go to ICU or to be intubated. Nice!
At Children's Tessa was doing o.k. but not great. We talked to a LOT of doctors and told our story about a million times, but that was o.k. Anything to get our little girl better! At one point I was being interviewed (again!) by a resident when Noel picked Tess up and quickly stated that her lips were turning blue!!! He put her on the bed and I jumped up... the resident wasn't quite sure how to get the oxygen going, so Noel grabbed the mask, hooked it up and cranked to O2 up. We held the oxygen by her mouth and she turned back to pink quickly. Very scary! Mom and Dad were there, and I think I was o.k. until I saw them crying or trying to hold back tears (guess which one did what!!!) and then I lost it! Of course Tessa was then set to transfer to ICU.
A few hours later Tess and Noel and I settled into PICU and took turns being with Tessa along with Uncle Lowell and Aunt Maggie. Tess did very well that night. Noel and I even decided to go home to get a little rest and shower, and planned to be back around 3 or 3:30a.m. My throat was getting worse and worse, so I let Noel go and I slept until I could get to the doc. Noel texted me around 4a.m. and said Tessa was being moved to a regular floor... praise God! The doctor and nurse thought Tessa sounded like she could use a treatment, but she was still doing very well! As of the night before she had mostly been under the oxygen mist tent, but we were able to start holding her more on Saturday. Noel and Mom and Dad and I held her whenever she would wake up, and she really didn't need the oxygen all that often. Tess was still pretty tired and weak, though, so she didn't stay up for very long periods of time. Still, I was happy to have my kid making some progress!
Sooooo, Saturday evening we transferred to a private room in the hopes that Tessa would be improved to the point where we could go home on Sunday. Tessa slept pretty well, but started trying to cough more early Sunday (this) morning. I got her up and held her for a while, and she still coughed but couldn't seem to get anything up. She started to close her eyes, so I thought I'd put her back down under the tent so that she could rest. Man, did she NOT like that!!! She threw her blanket out of the oxygen tent and just about threw the tent over the edge of the crib! I grabbed her again, and noticed her oxygen was going down to 75% (above 90% is where she should be). Noel held her and some oxygen while I ran to get the nurse. I have to say, by the way, I love nurse Jenn. She has done a fabulous job of being available to us today and I will miss her a lot! So, anyway, Jenn and the doctors and resp therapist came rushing in and gave Tessa two more treatments and started to suction her. Right now she is finally sleeping with a high pressure nasal cannula in her nose (again, duh!). The doctor said she probably won't like it because the pressure is like having someone breath in your mouth for you. Weird! Poor Tessa is so wiped, though, that she is sleeping soundly and I guess the rest is to come!
Probably not going home today after this latest episode, but I just want here where she can get better! I sat watching her just before I started this blog. I just started crying because here my sweet baby is struggling for her breath while I am only able to sit back and watch. I know all parents feel like this, but I so want to take this from her and put it on myself. I only want Tessa to sit up in bed and start pointing and growling and repeating everything we say. Is that too much to ask?! :0)
I know she will be fine, and I feel a little better now. Thank you EVERYone for all of your prayers through all of this drama. We love you all and know that you will continue to pray for our little Tessa Grace until she is home and safe and sound!
P.S. I think this might be longer than any of Andee's blogs... GO ME!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment